The Quest
by DestinationLullaby
Summary: A quick one shot. What appens when you mix a perve and a 16 year old girl?


Ya, a little story involving my OC. I hope she's not Mary-Sue-ish, but my Beta won't say anything to offend me, so you lot are my new betas for her personality. So you have to review to tell me if you think her personality could do with improving, she's too pretty or something or other :P The little litmus tests I did were really inconclusive, so it's up to you.

…

Aisha Hana stomped down the streets of Iwakagure, thinking about how to murder the mailman. She'd ordered the new Make Out Paradise to be imported from Konoha, and the idiot had delivered a sappy romantic novel from the Hidden Sound Village. She wanted cold, hard porn, dammit! Sighing, she pushed open the door to her grandfather's office.

Her grandfather was the current Tsuchikage, who had been the idiot to get her addicted to the porn in the first place. He'd left one of the novels he'd got on a treaty signing in Konoha on the desk, and Aisha had just felt the urge to read it. Needless to say, Jiraya's photography of Yaoi scenes was the thing that she loved the most. I mean, why have one guy with some random girl when you can have 2 hot, naked guys? Sure they were gay but they were hot. In her mind it kind of cancelled out.

Rifling through her Grandfather's desk, she found the newest version of Make Out Paradise. That bastard. Calming down, she opened the book, and saw the first picture in there, a man with notebook in hand, giving a thumbs up to the camera. The caption said that it was the author, Jiraya. Holy fuck, the author was hot. Aisha looked through the list of contacts on her Grandfather's desk, and decided to leave a note saying she was going to Konoha for a while.

…

"You a prostitute?"

"No. Fuck off."

Aisha sighed. She'd been approached by a group of apparently drunk shinobi, who obviously thought she was a hooker. So maybe she was wearing a short skirt with fishnet stockings under it, and yeah she did have boots on, and maybe she was in the Red Light District of Sunagakure, but that's beside the point. She wanted to read some porn, not be part of it. She continued on her quest, knowing that Konoha was allies with this village. Stopping a guy with red hair, she asked him if he knew the quickest way to Konoha, and he simply nodded and pointed the way.

She finally took a good look at the guy who had helped her, and stopped for a moment. Holy shit, he was hot. But for Aisha, who flirted with practically every guy who wasn't drunk (although she usually forgot that self imposed rule after several bottles of sake) or had a beer, that didn't make much difference.

Flipping her long hair, she started to blink prettily. That earned her a whack in the face, to which she replied "Do you know who I am? I'm granddaughter of the Tsuchikage, dammit!" Turned out that threat wouldn't work on the Kazekage.

…

Sighing, shee looked up to the horizon to see the Konoha gates getting nearer with each step. She started to run as fast as possible to the gates, with 'PORN AHOY!' running through her mind. And that's when she ran face first into the gates.

After a few hours of thinking, she decided that scaling the wall would be the best idea. She jumped as high as she could, she latched onto the wall. And as soon as she got halfway off, fell down. It was now she wished she'd not fooled around in the academy while trying to attract the attentions of Deidara. Who dumped her after he discovered her fascination with porn.

She sat down thinking again. Detonating the wall with chakra would not work. She'd left everything she could use to expand the explosion back in Iwa, and she doubted that she'd be able to find any explosives. She could of course use exploding tags, but that wouldn't be very fun. And there'd be little to no fire, according to her pyromaniac mind, it'd be like a waste of a good explosion.

Suddenly, the gates started to open and she saw the guards go to their post. Rushing over to them she quickly gave her name and showed them her headband. When asked to state her business, she simply told them "Porn. NOW." Surprised, she was dragged off to the Hokage's office.

…

"So you're an Iwa nin?"

"Well no duh. With this headband, where else would I be from?"

"You look awfully like that Akatsuki guy…"

"You're comparing me to DEIDARA?!"

"Is that his name?"

"You're a twisted and sadistic bitch, did you know that?"

"Thank you."

Aisha tried to hold back the urge to set this woman on fire. It wouldn't be hard, sure her Grandfather might just kill her for starting another war with Konoha, but as long as she got that porn, she'd be happy.

"They said you wanted porn at the gates. Why didn't you just order it in?"

"I did. And the twisted sadistic mailman brought me some shit from Sound."

"Iwa has been in contact with sound?!"

"No! I want Jiraya's porn god dammit!"

Tsunade started laughing uncontrollably. Through fits of laughter, she told Shizune to get Jiraya in her office.

"Jiraya, you've polluted this young girl's mind!"

"What the fuck?"

"She wants your porn."

Aisha turned round to see the sexy bastard writer of her porn. And proceeded to latch herself onto his leg, telling him of her undying love. Jiraya's eyes widened. A girl? Who thought he was hot? And to top it all off, she was a pretty blonde in black?

"Wooh! I'm going off to write my next novel Tsunade, I'll be back once I'm at the top of the best sellers list!" He cackled, lifting Aisha over his shoulder, who was now telling him how the angles he'd captured the two hot boys in her favourite photo was exquisite.

…

A slap was heard through all of Konoha, and about a minute later, Aisha was seen exiting the home of Jiraya, muttering about how she was going to ensure his manhood was destroyed. She walked past most of the shops until one caught her eye. A bookshop! That's where she'd find her porn! And she rushed in, pulling some money out of her purse as she ran.

"What do you mean you sent the last fucking copy to Iwakagure?!"

"Sorry, Tsuchikage's orders. Apparently his granddaughter has a fondness for it."

"Shit."

………

cackles Not your regular OC fic then. I'm very happy to do more of Aisha if you'd like me to. And no, I'm nothing like her. She's just a very amusing character to write.

Reviews are fuuuuuuun.


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